join me on the facebooks!

http://www.facebook.com/moceanworker

yay!

do it NOW!!!!!!!!!

be well,

MOWO!

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Oh Gene Simmons, you are not an asshole, you are just a schmuck......

Those of you who know me from my childhood , know that I left my little Mayberry , meets sneering yentas hometown at the age of 15. I moved to NY to follow my dreams in the music business.

YAY! ( golf clap from readers.........snoring ensues )

anyway

When I arrived in New York, I really didn't have such a solid plan. I knew I was a genius and probably going to be one of the top bass playing, song writing , remixing, producer/aritst,model,spokesman , swim suit models ever. I just couldn't convince anybody else of this.And nobody seemed to give a fuck. I worked a variety of horrible jobs and basically got my ass handed to me on a daily basis from this city. I had just turned 16 and literally around NOBODY my own age. After a few months of bothering people I got a job at a recording studio called Right Track. I still don't know how I got this gig. I can assure you , it was not because of my father either. He at that point was scratching his way back to the middle after having fallen on some hard career times. let's just say the fighting Dorns were figuring out a course correction. What does this have to do with Gene Simmons being a schmuck you ask? Everything! , so settle down and be patient. This all pays off.

Ok.....so, let's get back to Right Track. I get hired. I get hired to be the tape librarian. I'm shown a room of about 3000 reels of tape and told "Get this out of here and back to the people that own it" and given no instruction how to do it. Meanwhile upstairs the studio is a real studio. On any given day some of the top artists in the world are in there making platinum albums. I was sneered at by Paul Simon on a regular basis. I had crystal light popsicles with Luther Vandross. The gentlemen from Foreigner were addicted to a particular driving video game while making one of their "YACHT ROCK" classics. "Take that Mick Jones.....I'm on level 42!" needless to say, although I didn't spend much time in the studios at first. I did see a lot of folks and interact with some very interesting music personalities of the 80's. The most memorable of which was Mr. Gene Simmons. ( "finally you fucking name dropping , verbose asshole.......GET TO THE STORY......" - mike piehl, Boston, USA )

So, Christmas. 1988. Front lobby. The employees are signing all of the Christmas Cards that I have purchased for our cherished clients. I'm sitting at the front desk and organizing the cards and putting them away as the employees one by one finish with the task of making sure Taylor Dane is not felt left out and gets her card that I'm sure she will eventually use to cut up a line of blow with. that's another story. As I sit there, I'm reading an article in BIllboard magazine about my soon to be savior and mentor Marcus Miller. Seeing as the main reason I moved to new york was to basically become a bass player I took notice of the article and was transfixed as I had only very recently started to hang in the studio while Marcus worked. He let me watch and learn. I was ensconced in the article and now unaware of my surroundings. I didn't notice when Gene Simmons who was working in Studio A with the juggernaut that was L.A. Guns walked up beside me. I flinched like Shemp from the Three Stooges when I looked up and saw his horribleness. OUt of make up. The man looked like a Rabbi and a Vampire got into a fight and THE RABBI HAD WON!

Any of you that know me, especially anybody that knows me from this time. Knows that A) I was a fucking opinionated know it all ( ha ha ha, I know I still am....thank you..... and B) Obsessed with all things related to the bass. So, putting those two things together. Seeing Gene Simmons to me was like seeing Dr Von Schmuck. here he was Mr rock/metal bass player rock star out of make up , preening , ego maniacal non musical nothing to me. my blood boiled. How dare Gene Simmons walk near me and claim to "play a bass" or "be a producer/ musician" CHARLATAN!!! he looks at me and absolutely sensing a vibe , and not a good one from me says "what are you doing there kid" to which I say " we are signing a christmas card for one of our clients , his name is marcus miller. you want to sign it? " he says who is marcus miller? you mean marcus welby?" ANGER ENSUES......I will smote thee GENE SIMMONS, you now anger the gods of BASS yet AGAIN!

OH NO YOU DID NOT MR GENE SIMMONS.......you did not just call my hero MARCUS WELBY.

So, in a voice with the attitude of Stewie from The Family Guy but with a distinct "blackcent" ( I was black between 1987-1993 ) . I say "Marcus Miller is actually one of the best bass players in the world. I'm reading an article about him right now in Billboard and they are saying he has the potential to be the next Quincy Jones " to which Gene ( we are now on a first name basis ) replies. "Quincy Jones?!?! , who the hell is Quincy Jones!!?!?......nobody knows who Quincy Jones is. Between Marcus Welby and Quincy , it sounds like we have a new TV series here " ( kudos Gene, that was actually funny ) I look at Gene , flames shooting from my eyes and say "Are you kidding me?! who the hell is quincy jones?!?! , everybody knows who quincy jones is! "

GENE - nobody knows who quincy jones is!!
MOWO! - I bet you 20 bucks if we go downstairs on the street and ask someone they'll know
GENE - bet, you are on
MOWO! - and I want one of those basses that has like a lighting bolt and and a snake on it , and mirrors
GENE - you are a bass player?
MOWO! - Yes, the only one having this conversation actually....
GENE - you have a big mouth
MOWO! - you have a big tongue
GENE- ok, its on , wise ass , lets go downstairs but I get to pick out the person and you can only say "Excuse me, do you know who quincy jones is?"
MOWO! - fine , they'll know

LEt it be known , I was not yet known as MOWO! , I was simply Adam. The big mouthed wise ass from the main line who was and still to this day remains a far far better bass player than Gene Simmons , but alas, so are you dear reader :)

GENE - ok mr know it all, go ask that UPS MAN and don't stray from the script.
MOWO! - excuse me , do you know who QUINCY JONES IS
UPS GUY - of course he is Michael Jackson's producer
GENE - oh, ok........fine, that was luck.
MOWO! - no it wasn't , people know who he is
GENE - oh yeah, double or nothing!
MOWO! - ok , I'm just gonna take your money Simmons. When I win can I call you Richard Simmons for the rest of the day?
GENE - very funny.....ok, ask that older woman and again. DO NOT deviate.
MOWO! - cool

NOW THE IMPORTANT SIDE NOT OF ALL SIDE NOTES , right track , was on 48th street. its important to know this because 48th street was where all of the musical instrument stores were. it was crawling with musicians, albeit in 1989 musicians with big hair. It was still a very bad street for Gene Simmons to challenge me on. now we return our dear readers to the story......

MOWO! - Excuse me mam, do you know Quincy Jones is

and here is the payoff :

NICE 50's SOMETHING JEWISH WOMAN - Of course I do, he is friends with my husband. He is a big band leader and a producer. He used to play in the Dizzy Gillespie big band and then he started making records and producing and he made that "Thriller" album for Michael Jackson

GENE - HUH!?!? how on earth do you know that much about Quincy Jones.

NICE 50's SOMETHING JEWISH WOMAN - he is friends with my husband. My husband owns Manny's , we've known quincy since the 50's!

( manny's at the time was the biggest music store in new york city )

MOWO! - I LOVE YOU, you just won me money from a jewish Rock Star. Fork it over GENE

NICE 50's SOMETHING JEWISH WOMAN - Oh that's sweet. Who is he?

MOWO! - Gene Simmons from the band Kiss

NICE 50's SOMETHING JEWISH WOMAN - Oh, I don't like their music at all. But it's nice to meet you , pay that young man what you owe him

GENE - you got lucky.

MOWO! - I havent had this much money since my bar mitzvah!

END SCENE

so see kids, staying in school isn't so cool! If I had stayed in school it would have been November of my senior year. You tell me. Win money from a Jewish vampire or go to the prom with a girl named Tiffany Shittzenberg?

yeah, I thought so.

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Wayman Tisdale

Sad News,

Wayman Tisdale passed away today. I first met Wayman in 1987. He was 2 years into what would become a 12 year career in the NBA. While I was a student under Marcus Miller , hanging in the studios for the better part of three years with Marcus. Wayman signed his first contract and when asked by his agent "you are now rich and your family will always be secure , what do you want to do for yourself?" Wayman said.

"I want to meet the guy that produces Luther Vandross" that guy was Marcus Miller. When Waymans agent got in touch with Marcus , Marcus said "He wants to meet me?!?! I WANT TO MEET HIM!" Wayman was a bass player at the time. Obviously he was a far better basketball player but he was always in love with the bass and he wanted to meet his favorite bass player on earth. Marcus. Its funny, Wayman and I both learned from Marcus and Wayman went on to become equally as popular a musician as he was an athlete. An extremely rare feat indeed. You have to tip your hat to him for figuring out not one but two extremely difficult fields. He was just that kind of guy.

I met Wayman about 6 months or so after Marcus started what would be a very close friendship. I was a huge basketball fan and a big big Wayman Tisdale fan. It was so cool to get to meet him but far more cool to find out that he was as down to earth as could be and a gentle giant. His smile lit up the room and although we didnt become the bestest friends on earth. we did have a nice time hanging together and subsequently spent some nice evenings together talking about music and hanging out in boston when he was a member of the sacramento kings. Wayman was 7 years older than me but always treated me like one of the boys and was my buddy.

We shared a nice moment together on the team bus after the Celtics destroyed his kings. I was walking to the back of the buss and I believe Rodney McCray said "no whitey on the back of the bus" to me.....jokingly of course......to which Wayman said "he aint white.....he's funky and with me" hahahah , that was Wayman.

Wayman, wherever you are. just know. I loved you man. You were such a great guy, so talented and anytime you were around the room lit up. the world was blessed to have you on it.

rest in peace man.

1 comment |

Campaign Stickers

hi,

If you still have campaign stickers on your vehicle from the 2008 presidential election , you can remove them now.

it's ok......I have time, I'm waiting.............

all gone now?

good.

Why am I writing about this? well. I was driving last night in a car with and we got cut off by someone driving a mammoth suv with a McCain / Palin sticker.

well....thats 3 strikes for them......cutting me off , driving a huge gas guzzler and well....dont get me started on mccain / palin.

but then I got to thinking. I drive around a lot and I notice something. I notice that if you drive a Toyota Prius. There is a large chance that you have not only an Obama/Biden sticker on your car ( a huge one ) but you also have a lot of other stickers.

stickers like

support our troops end the war or

my other car is a horse

or

im green are you green?

or

harvard , dartmouth , yale , brown , any liberal arts college in vermont..

or

Palin is the devil ( i actually like this one )

you get the picture. If you drive a prius, you like to let folks know a LOT more about yourself than maybe THEY want to know about you.

Now, as I write this, I have to admit my brother drives a prius and well, there isn't a single sticker on his car. That's ok. he tells me in person CONSTANTLY everything he is thinking about and his opinions on everything so in a way he is acting consistently as well.

I really don't have an issue. I think its a pretty cool car. I do think its high time we take down and stop wearing all things Obama. Its 110 days into the gig people and he is doing a pretty damn good job. We don't need to wear the shirts and buttons and stickers anymore. Its kind of like still wearing your high school varsity jacket in your freshman year of college. Now do you get it?

HA!

I did go off on a rant though while driving today on a prius that sort of cut me off. it literally had 6-7 stickers on it and all of them were like FREE TIBET , GREEN LIVING IS THE ONLY WAY , IM SMART AND YOUR ARE NOT , MY CAR SAYS A LOT ABOUT ME and JEWS ARE THE BEST LOVERS.......all shit along those lines.

I started singing a song to myself in a very bad thick english accent. I wont tell you the lyrics lets just say I didnt have a lot of nice things to say.

I agree let's save the planet. But instead of being green , lets start with knocking off the BUSH and CHENEY clan?

I know, wont solve anything......BUT IT FEELS NICE TO SAY, I JUST LIKE SAYING IT.

ok......

be well,

MOWO!™

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MAY DAY!

I miss Russian tanks running through red square on May Day. I miss Brezhnev eye brows a blazin, scowl a scowlin!. I miss the red scare. I miss communism. I miss propaganda I miss THE DIRTY RED MENACE!.... FLAT OUT

I DO

Wanna fix the worlds economy? that's right. BRING BACK THE SOVIET UNION! everyone will have something collectively to fixate on instead of their massive Visa bill filled with crap lovingly made in China (with poison and lead by slave labor) that they couldn't afford in the first place

I think I write this every year but I miss all of the ballistic missiles on trucks going through red square and the leader being like 50 stories above waving at everyone , while everyone waves back in absolute fear thinking "If I don't wave back its the gulag for my ass! "

they had such cool tanks too. I miss their tanks. Although in recent years they've used them in Georgia in not such a nice way. STILL, its better than what we have now.

it's just not a fun grouping of enemies anymore

For starters we can't even hate China like we should. The normal progression would be lets focus on the next big nation to step up and that nation is china , but like I said earlier they make ALL OF OUR SHIT. and I mean ALL OF IT and now they own all of our mortgages as well. So we can't hate them! THEY OWN US!!!!

so here is a run down of who is out there and how we can/can't hate them

shall we? lets.......

NORTH KOREA?

snore-(th) Korea

Crazy most number one best leader runs country that now has literally a box of wheat thins left in the pantry. Hating North Korea is a waist of time. I do love his most royal highness most exalted leaders hair do though. SO, actually I love north korea and they made this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryugyong_Hotel

its so wrong that its SOOOOO right. a festival of poured concrete. I love north korea. Its like the little insanely hateful , totally incapable of trust nation that could.

next......

IRAQ?

nah......that was forced on us. I don't hate Iraq. Never did. Saddam was a douche and could have been taken out without all the Shock and the Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww shit. Iraq is really a low point in us foreign policy history and thats saying A LOT.

IRAN....

Ok so their president doesn't think the holocaust occurred thus making him insane. But still. Iran is fine, I can't really hate them either. I don't have enough reason to hate them. I mean the hostage crisis? come on......thats soooooooooo 1980. It was revolution baby. ITS WAS THE SUMMER OF HATE over there. And we had messed with them so badly since the mid 50's and

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohammed_Mosaddeq

just unfair what we did to IRAN, we had their hate comin' our way for years.

NEXT........

AL QAEDA

it's not fun hating them.....I mean, where are there? If someone is your enemy can't you just go, find them and have at it? Al Qaeda lurks in the shadows and generally just is a shit enemy. I hate them, sure.....but , whatever. its not that much fun. Some of what they gripe about is right,once again we treated a part of the world like shit and they poked us in the eye BUT..... most of it is F'ing insane though. we can't live in an 11th century world. so.....F them for being SO not fun. they don't even have like cool uniforms or anything fun like a water polo team or ANYTHING.......F THEM!

At least with Russia , we knew where they were, we had lots of spies in each others countries and well.....we knew where they were all the time and if we really needed to , well, shit, we could always play them in hockey or basketball and everyone could go bonkers and yell "U.S.A.......U.S.A"

LEMME SEE AL QAEDA FIELD A BASKETBALL TEAM OR A HOCKEY TEAM!!!!!

yeah, I thought so.

last but not least lumped into one pile

SYRIA, CUBA , SOMOLIA , SUDAN ..........

boring, great music , sad and assholes......all in that order.

even Libya is like almost sort of our friend now.

so, yes............new world order = SHITTY ENEMIES

I know......I say we hate SWITZERLAND! they've been sitting there pretending to be all neutral for too long now. YOU SO KNOW they are full of shit and are taking sides in something. Let's expose them and collectively put all our hate and fear into hating and fearing the swiss? Either that or we can throw our IRE AT THE BELGIANS

I'm GAME! who's in!?!?!

think about it for a minute.

be well,

MOWO!™

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